It’s not a typo, BemSex is real.

Back in the 70s a certain Sandra Bem developed what she called the Bem Sex-Role Inventory, which challenged the view that masculinity & femininity were polar opposites. What’s now known as The ‘Open Sex-Role Inventory’ was developed from her original work. Bem’s theory was that both masculinity & femininity were good & the ideal was high levels of both, which she called ‘Androgyny’. OSRI is an interactive test you can take which will tell you what sector you’re in; either masculine, androgynous, undifferentiated or feminine. Why am I telling you all this? Because feminising men is one of my specialities as the #TeesValleyMistress. It’s something I find very rewarding, both in terms of the transformations I can help create, and the psychological reasons behind my subject’s desire. I’d been meeting CD’s for years in my former role as fun50minx, the female half of fun50couple. As an escort couple, our clients of choice from the outset were mainly mature bi-curious and bisexual men. While sexuality in itself isn’t a precondition to wanting to be feminised, fact is a good percentage of CD’s start out as ‘curious’ men. If you’re wanting to take the OSRI test for yourself hit the ‘BEGIN ASSESSMENT’ button at the bottom of THIS PAGE. Why not email me your score? Include with it your thoughts about How You Want To Be Feminised:

Prior to the 60s men based their ‘masculinity’ on traits that opposed those ‘assigned’ to women. The male persona was based on ‘anti-feminine’ values. Fifty years on from Bem as Western society obsesses over equality, many men are having a hard time knowing what it is these days that defines ‘masculinity’. Some men think that by asserting their heterosexuality and rejecting homosexuality (seen as the personification of the feminine man), they’re signalling their discontent & compensating against the slow steady feminisation of men in general. So called ‘modern men’ have no problem embracing this change. Other’s however become homophobic, justifying it as a means of preserving their ‘manhood’ & heterosexuality while pushing back against the granting of equal rights to homosexuals. Sweden leads the world with their approach to all things ‘gender related’ and they’ve learned to celebrate strong ‘healthy masculinity’ which is…. accepting masculinity is no better or worse than femininity & defining it as an EQUAL but opposite pole. Accepting that it’s OK to be feminine & masculine at the same time, just like Bem said back in the 70s. Working as fun50minx & as a County Durham domme aka Mistress Orchid I witness at first hand the differences in men’s perceptions of ‘masculinity’. Invariably, the Sex Positive guys are the kinder more grounded souls, in contrast to the Alpha Male types who are more like the men I referred to above…..still asserting their version of ‘manliness’ in a changing world, believing it’s ‘their way or the highway’.

Until fairly recently, male cross dressers or ‘transvestites’ as they used to be known, got a bad rap. They were seen as weak, lacking strength & ‘abnormal’. In reality, many of us seek to ‘inhabit’ the experiences of people we admire. We may want to emulate some of their traits; attributes that have led them to become successful people, billionaires even. The net’s full of webinars on sale to people wanting to know how to become rich & ‘copy’ their way to success. A CD’s merely some-one who wants to ‘inhabit’ the space of the ‘gender’ he admires. He wants to get close & personal to the object of his desires by emulating them, while still being himself, his true self. We’ve already discovered that most of us have varying percentages of male and female within us. It’s something my partner Geeze has recognised for years. He took the test and fell (unsurprisingly) into the ‘androgynous’ category…an individual with strong personality traits associated with BOTH sexes, as I suspect do many of my/our clients.

Image of GIF frame advertising feminisation by Mistress Orchid &/or fun50couple

It’s reckoned that about 8% of the population cross dress. But we’ll never know how many for sure. Most CDs are in the closet. It’s been suggested it’s ‘in the genes’ but why do men cross dress? Some for the reasons alluded to above, others find it an outlet for stress, & significant numbers get relief from tension simply by wearing women’s lingerie; it’s as if a woman’s gentleness rubs off on them & calms them. In some men it runs deeper…Gender Dysphoria is a chronic unease about being male; we’ve all heard tales about women supposedly trapped in men’s bodies; it’s REAL folks, I’ve seen it in men I’ve met. Some take steps to change gender surgically and become true Transexuals.

A good number of CDs want to do more that just dress, & seek full blown sex as a woman and that’s OK with me; but it most definitely wouldn’t be OK to many of their wives and girlfriends. Most keep it a secret. A lucky few have partners who understand it, don’t see it as anything particularly abnormal and even get turned on by it. Fortunately for me they’re in the minority, and I can continue to ENJOY feminising men, whether its dressing them in lingerie, making them up, or spending a good hour or so on a credible transformation; lippie, nails, wig, hosiery, lingerie, heels & dresses, the full enchilada. I have quite a few clients in that league or at least did have, until the current hysteria closed down our meetings. While researching this article I dropped on a really wonderful website; it’s called and its run by a woman by the name of Stephanie who founded the organisation way back in 1984. There are a host of well made informative videos embedded on the site, dealing with feminisation from mild to FULL-ON. One product I found particularly interesting was their ‘Aspire’ Nipple Enhancement gel. Some men are lucky & have super sensitive nipples that become aroused easily. We’re back to the varying percentages of male/female chromosomes in the body I guess. Others have no sensitivity at all, & I’ve often found such men to be hard work; they’re clearly not cut out to ‘explore’; that’s my theory anyway (based on nearly a decade of meetings I hasten to add). What’s fascinating about ‘Aspire’ gel is that it promises enlarged and sexually sensitive nipples similar to a woman, but get this….it STOPS THERE. Breast enlargement, hair removal, all that kinda stuff…they’re different products entirely and a step further in the transformational journey, but you don’t have to go that far.

So guys, there you have it. My thoughts about feminisation & cross dressers. I’ve been forced to stop meetings for now, not by HM Government & their incessant messages & hashtags, but more by the ‘holier than thous’ some of whom are reporting social distancing breaches to the Authorities. It appears to be a different story entirely when it comes to their families visiting; most of my neighbours are partying with others while virtue signalling on Social Media about the benefits of the measures & our wonderful NHS. Distancing is here to stay for a good while to come by the looks of it; escorting therefore is effectively DEAD. On the other hand Common Sense, (in short supply these days) shall prevail, so work will resume following this current lockdown. You’ll need to be an established Adult Work member or some-one known to me if you want to meet, and you’ll need to craft me a sensible message, along the lines of the informational video in my last blog-post. I also recommend you open a secure & secret email account such as Why? Because Big Brother is monitoring communications, and encrypted email bypasses their attentions. Furthermore, there’s no hard proof of any meeting having taken place.

And finally….During the downtime I’ve made further improvements to my already luxurious playroom and I can’t wait to share them with you! So get in touch. I am Mistress Orchid, County Durham Domme aka the #TeesValleyMistress. Are you worthy of my time and attention? Time will tell.